Cinco: Not Worth A Five
by Arbie T. Baguios on August 11, 2010
Directed by: Frasco Mortiz, Enrico Santos, Ato Bautista, Nick Olanka, Cathy Molina
Starring: AJ Perez, Robi Domingo, Sam Concepcion, Jodi Sta. Maria, Maja Salvador, Rayver Cruz, Mariel Rodriguez, Pokwang, Zanjoe Marudo
After watching Cinco, I was scared. Not in a “saw-a-horror-film, can’t-sleep-at-night” kind of scared. But more of a “is-this-really-the-horror-film-of-our-generation?” kind of scared.
We’ve seen by-gone years spawn the most definitive of Pinoy horror films (Tiyanak, Patayin sa Sindak si Barbara, and the earlier, better half of Shake, Rattle and Roll series). Although, the industry have struck gold in more recent films too like Sukob and Feng Shui.
But with the plethora of dime-a-dozen romantic comedies, one can only be skeptical of even the formidable reputation of Filipinos for crafting movies to scare you half to death. I kept my doubts at bay and held high hopes for the movie Cinco, a collection of five short films (much like Shake, Rattle and Roll) all titled after a part of the human body.
We witness short number one, Braso. It pans out with three fraternity initiates being trapped in a morgue where they are haunted by a decapitated arm. It’s basically fifteen minutes of topless matinee idols being chased silly by a poorly-animated hand which, at one point, ends up in a very suggestive position. There was promise in the tension from two of the characters in the last five minutes, but as is the nature of a mass of Pinoy movies, it is too wholesome to show anything interesting or horrific. Nothing extraordinary happens when it could have.
Paa is about a mother being terrorized by the ghost of her daughter’s departed friend. Teleserye mainstay Jodi Sta. Maria delivered a solid performance in her little time on-camera. The story was a little more thought of than the rest with a pretty good twist by the end. Easily, this was the best short.
Mata tells the story of a girl haunted by a man killed by her boyfriend, and experiences the night of the crime several times to her torment. The premise had potential but the protagonist’s acting and reaction were off. Her screams and “scared” face were delivered as if on cue, and in a very mechanical manner at that. If somehow, you managed not to feel the movie dragging during the earlier shorts, Mata will be your epiphany.
Mukha is a short about a woman alone in her office, tormented by a dead employee she recently fired. Mariel Rodriguez is casted as a stereotypical “mataray” boss. Do not expect quality— hilarity may ensue if one has a keen eye for details, too. From all the ghost-in-the-mirror screaming the starlet does for most part of the short, you can tell it’s going to be one of those films where people narrate their predicaments while emoting, and lengthily stare and yell at the bad guys before moving away.
Lastly, we have Puso. It follows an unattractive circus girl who uses a love charm to gain the unrequited affection of a handsome man, who later turns into a zombie out to get her. Of course you should take this short, and moreso this whole movie, seriously. It stars Pokwang, whose face is dotted with prosthetic hairy moles! For something ought to be scary, it’s tragically funny.
All of this is a collection of thoughtless stories tailored to be played by simply talented-enough, bankable stars. This movie presupposes an easily scared and amused audience, and therefore thinks that it can get away with its trite and overly-baked clock-and-dagger attempts for a scare. But really, the “shocks”, few and abrupt as they came, are shallow.
Cinco provides thin entertainment that doesn’t quite par with preceding movies of the horror genre. The film, despite it’s name, is not worth a five. In all its hilarity, you will find yourself smirking more than actually being frightened.
